The two nuns

Two nuns left the convent to sell cookies

One was known as: Math Sister.

The other as: Logical Sister.

It is getting dark and we are still far from the convent! – Sister Mathematics says with concern.

And have you noticed that a man has been following us for half an hour? Says Sister Logic, apprehensive.

Yes, what does he want?

Of course, he only wants one thing: to abuse us!

Oh no ! If we continue at this pace it will reach us in less than 5 minutes. We have to speed up the pace!

But it is not working because he did the only logical thing to do: he also started walking faster!

And now what are we going to do?

The only logical thing that remains for us to do is to separate. Sister goes this way and I go the other way. So he will not be able to follow both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logic.

Sister Mathematics arrived at the convent worried about what might have happened to Brother Logic and began to pray non-stop.

After a long time, Sister Logica arrives.

Logic Sister! Thank God it arrived! Tell me what happened?

The logical thing happened, didn’t you, Sister? The man could not follow us at two and chose to follow me.

Yes, but what happened next?

-The logical! I started running faster and he ran as fast as he could too.

And the logical thing happened again: he caught up with me.

Oh my God ! And what did you do?

I did the logic, I lifted my habit.

Oh Sister! And what did the man do?

He also did the logic: he unbuttoned his jacket and pulled his pants down.

Oh no ! And what happened next?

Isn’t it obvious Sister? A nun with a raised habit can run much faster than a man with his pants down.

And you, what did you think?
DIRTY MIND !!!
There are already 20 Hail Marys as penance.

Taken from the PowerPoint, of unknown author: https://fr.slideserve.com/trella/as-duas-freiras-powerpoint-ppt-presentation

Maria & Tó – to laugh

In the midst of so many overwhelming news and comments, we have to laugh a little …

Relieve stress …!

Maria and Tó

Maria and Tó were admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

One day, during his usual walk, Tó jumped into the pool and immediately sank.

Maria quickly jumped into the pool and managed to save him.

When the director became aware of Maria’s heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be cured.

He sent for her and communicated to her: 

– I have good and bad news to communicate to you: The good news is that we are going to discharge you, as you have demonstrated your rational capacity to overcome a crisis situation, and save the life of a patient. Your act shows that you are recovered!

-The bad news is that Tó, after saving him, hanged himself in the bathroom with the robe belt, we are really sorry, but he is dead!

And Maria replied:

– He didn’t commit suicide, I hung it up to dry!

RACC

Message from husband:
Honey, I was run over when I was leaving the office. Maria took me to the hospital. I’ve had several analyzes and some X-rays. The head, despite taking a big blow, has no serious injuries. But I have 3 broken ribs, an open fracture in my left leg and most likely my right foot will be amputated.
Woman’s response:
Who is Maria?!

Lusitanian humor

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The problem about the chicken crossing the street…

… according to the opinion of illustrated thinkers of the past and present!

Why did the chicken cross the street?

Primary teacher

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“Because the chicken wanted to get across the street.”

Child

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“Because yes.”

Plato

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“Because it wanted to achieve Good.”

Aristotle

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“Because it’s the nature of the chicken to cross the street.”

Descartes

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“The chicken thought before crossing the street, therefore it is.”

Rousseau

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“Chicken by nature is good; it is society that corrupts you and takes you across the street. ”

Freud

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“Concern over the fact that the chicken has crossed the street is a symptom of sexual insecurity.”

Darwin

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“Over time, chickens have been selected naturally, so that, today, their genetic evolution has made them capable of crossing the street.”

Einstein

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“Whether the chicken crossed the street or whether the street moved towards the chicken, depends on the point of view … Everything is relative.”

Martin Luther King

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“I had a dream. I saw a world in which all free-range chickens can cross the street without questioning their motives. The chicken dreamed. ”

George W. Bush

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“We know that the chicken crossed the street in order to have its arsenal of weapons of mass destruction. So we had to eliminate the chicken. ”

Cavaco Silva

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“Why did you cross the street, it’s not important. What the country needs to know is that, with me, the chicken will have a favorable situation. I will not put barriers for the chicken to cross the street. ”

José Sócrates

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“My government was the one that built the most chicken runners. When I am re-elected, I will build chicken coops on either side of the street so that the chickens do not have to cross it. ”

Mario Soares

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“I already told the chicken to give up crossing the street! I’m going to cross! I will not give up because I know that the Portuguese want me to cross the street again !!! ”

Manuel Alegre

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“The chicken is free, it’s beautiful, something like that… with feathers! It crossed, crosses and will cross the street, because the wind shuts down disgrace, the wind says nothing to you! ”

Jerónimo de Sousa

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“It is the fault of the dominant, imperialist and bourgeois elites who intend to dominate the chickens, usurp their rights and annihilate their ability to cross the street, in the conquest of a better and more just socialist world!”

Francisco Louçã

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“Because it is necessary to say eye to eye that, just for the sake of racism, the chicken needs to cross the street to the other side. It is meanness to force the chicken across the street! ”

Valentim Loureiro

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“I challenge someone to prove that the chicken crossed the street. It’s a lie … !!! It’s all a lie !!! ”

Paulo Bento

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“The chicken crossed the street quietly… This is what we expected and this is what happened, very naturally. The chicken is still very young and these things pay dearly, with peace of mind !!! ”

Zézé Camarinha

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“Because it was the hitch! It’s a real male, it saw a camone chicken across the street and it didn’t forgive. It believed her!!! ”

And the blonde Lili Caneças …

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“Because it wanted to join the other mammals.”

Provérbios modernos

-Quem ri por último…          …é de compreensão lenta.

-Os últimos são sempre…       …desclassificados.

-Quem o feio ama…             …tem que ir ao oculista.

-Deitar cedo e cedo erguer…   …dá muito sono!

-Filho de peixe …             …é tão feio como o pai.

-Quem não arrisca…            …não se lixa.

-O pior cego.                 …é o que não quer cão nem bengala.

-Quem dá aos pobres…          …fica mais teso.

-Há males que vêm…            …e ficam.

-Gato escaldado…              …geralmente esta morto.

-Mais vale tarde…             …que muito mais tarde.

-Cada macaco…                 ….com a sua macaca.

-Águas passadas…              …já passaram.

-Depois da tempestade…        …vem a gripe.

-Vale mais um pássaro na mão    … que uma cagadela na cabeça.

Math is cool …

PROBLEM

A mother is 21 years older than her son. Six years from now the mother will have an age 5 times that of the child.

Question: Where is the father now? Yes, you did not read wrong … where is the Father?

Some calculations have to be done to get the answer!
Incredible as it may seem the answer is given by mathematics!

See the answer below… it’s very interesting:

Solution:

Looking Today:

The mother is now Y years old
The boy is now X years old
So with the mother 21 years older: Y = X + 21
6 years from now: (Y + 6) and (X + 6)
So with the mother 5 times older than her son: Y + 6 = 5 (X + 6)

Resolving:
Y + 6 = 5 X + 30
Y = 5X + 24
Then, replacing in the first equation = X + 21 we have:
5X + 24 = X + 21
Therefore:

-4X = 3
X = -¾

The boy is now -¾ years old, that is, – 9 months (minus nine months !!!).

The answer is logical:

If the boy is exactly nine months old, he will be born in nine months,

So:

Answer to the proposed problem:

  • The father is now “eating” the mother, while you break your head !!!

Brilliant !!!!!!!!!!!

Riddle

You are driving a car and maintaining a constant speed.

On your left side there is a huge swan.

On the right side a large fire engine, which maintains a speed identical to yours.

In front of you a horse gallops, which is much taller than your car, and you cannot pass it.

Behind you comes a helicopter close to the ground.

Both the horse and the helicopter maintain a speed identical to yours.

What do you do to get out of this situation safely?

Think a little…

Think a bit longer…

The answer is further down….

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Answer:

You step out the carousel and you stop drinking, ’cause the alcohol is killing you… 😂