Some curious expressions


— A Portuguese doesn’t have a problem, in fact, he’s ‘feito ao bife’ (made to the steak).

— A Portuguese doesn’t tell you to leave him alone, he tells you ‘vai chatear o Camões’ (go and bother Camões).

— A Portuguese doesn’t tell you he’s sexy, he tells you ‘é boa como o milho’ (it’s good as corn).

— A Portuguese does not repeat what he says, he ‘vira o disco e toca o mesmo’ (turns the record and plays the same).

— A Portuguese is never bored, he just ‘fica com os azeites’ (stays with the olive oil).

— A Portuguese doesn’t have much experience, he has ‘muitos anos a virar frangos’ (many years turning chickens).

— A Portuguese doesn’t get out of trouble, he ‘sacode a água do capote’ (shakes the water out of his cloak).

— A Portuguese is not in a desperate situation, he has ‘água pela barba’ (water by the beard).

— A Portuguese doesn’t get angry, he ‘vai aos arames’ (goes to the wires).

— A Portuguese who changes his mind easily is an ‘troca-tintas’ (ink-changer).

— A Portuguese is not brazen, he ‘tem lata’ (has can).

— A Portuguese does not refuse to give information, he ‘fecha-se em copas’ (closes himself in hearts).

— A Portuguese doesn’t die, he ‘estica o pernil’ (stretches his ham).

— A Portuguese does not pretend to be deaf, he ‘faz orelhas moucas’ (makes his ears deaf).

— A Portuguese does not say that everything is suspended indefinitely, he says that ‘ficou tudo em águas de bacalhau’ (everything was left in codfish water).

— A Portuguese doesn’t say ‘It’s indifferent to me’, he says ‘Não me aquece nem me arrefece’ (Neither warms or colds me).

— A Portuguese person did not go through difficult situations, he ‘passou as passas do Algarve’ (passed the raisins of the Algarve).

Who wrote “Os Lusíadas”? – to laugh

One morning, the Teacher asks the student:

– Tell me who wrote “Os Lusíadas”?

The student, stuttering, responds:

– I don’t know, Mrs. Teacher, but it wasn’t me.

And he starts to cry. The teacher, furious, tells him:

– Well then, in the afternoon, I want to talk to your Father.

In conversation with his Father, the Teacher complains to him:

– I don’t understand your son. I asked him who wrote “Os Lusíadas” and he replied that he didn’t know, that it wasn’t him…

The Father says:

– Well, he’s not usually a liar, if he says he wasn’t, it’s because he wasn’t. I could not say the same about he’s brother…

Annoyed with such ignorance, the Teacher decides to go home and, on the way she passes by the local police post and the Post Commander tells her:

– Looks like the day didn’t go very well for you…

– It seems so. Imagine that I asked a student who wrote “Os Lusíadas” and he replied that he didn’t know, that it wasn’t him, and he started to cry.

The Post Commander:

– Do not worry. We call the kid and we give him a “squeeze”, you’ll see that he confesses everything!

With her hair standing on end, the Teacher comes home and finds her husband sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. He asks her:

– So the day went well?

– Well, let me see. Today I asked a student who wrote “Os Lusíadas”. He started to stutter, that he didn’t know, that it hadn’t been him and began to cry. His Father tells me he’s not usually a liar. The Post Commander wants to call him and force him to confess. What shall I do with this?

The husband, comforting her:

– Look, forget it. Have dinner, sleep and tomorrow everything will be resolved. You’ll see that maybe it was you and you don’t remember anymore…!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

If there’s something strange
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?

Ray Parker Jr.

OMG, since 1984, this song burst into the airwaves and never let go… Especially for those like me, who really, relly loved Ghostbusters!

And this movie, “Afterlife”, it’s just an exciting new tome out of this fantastic universe! How can anyone forget “Marshmallow Man”?

The only fault it’s “Slimer”… How can a Ghostbuster movie be without it?!… Nonetheless, the story it is perfect for this kind of universe, and the cast it’s awesome, not only the original Ghostbusters (awesome, awesome, awesome), but also the new cast with special acclaim to Miss McKenna Grace, you rocked it, girl, and made a great job remembering Dr. Egon Spengler!

If you’re a fan, I doubt that you won’t love, at the very least, this movie. But it is a film for everyone who loves a cool story about ghosts with a load of laughs intertwined.

Play time’s over. Let’s toast this muffin.

Dr. Winston Zeddemore

Don’t look up

The online Cambridge dictionary says that satire is “(…) a way of criticizing people or ideas in a humorous way (…)“.

With this in mind, this movie shows us how satire can be used with a lot of intelligence and a note of sarcasm!

I know that RottenTomatoes gives it a very bad critic, and it’s their opinion. It’s as good an opinion as to any other from myself or each one of you. Nonetheless, for me, I really enjoyed its 2h hours a quarter, with lots of laughs and some punches right in the face of society.

Go watch it with an open mind and for the fun of it! Oh, and the amazing cast too!

The truth is way more depressing. They’re not even smart enough to be as evil as you’re giving them credit for.

Kate Dibiasky

Death to 2021

Here’s a film that, with an excellent dose of irony, some idiocy, and a good deal of barbs for society, gives us a summary of the year 2021.
For me, it felt like 2021 got by running, but as I reviewed some of the events, I realized that it was much longer than I initially realized.
Nonetheless, if you want a 2021 retrospective with intelligence and humor, I strongly recommend this film (or is it a mini-film)?!…

Mine are better than yours…

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world”
The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”


“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today” Les says as he stepped out of the shower, “Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”
“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.


He said “Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you really badly.”
She said “Well, you succeeded.”


He said “Shall we try swapping positions tonight?”
She said “That’s a good idea… You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart”.


He said “What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?”
She said “Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard.”


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour


My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.”
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn’t get back in.

Jokes… LOL

– Sex?
– 3 times per week
– No… I mean male or female?
– Doesn’t matter!

Do you know what’s worse than a pebble in your shoe?
A grain of sand in the condom….!

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing GOD she asked “Is my time up?” GOD said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a
tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of GOD, she demanded, “I thought You said I had another 40 years? Why didn’t You pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
(You will love this!!!)
GOD replied, “I didn’t recognize you!”

American joke

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.


By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow’s name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?

Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That’s the man’s name.

George: That’s who’s name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That’s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don’t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?