Category: LOL
“Euthanasia” for young people
Last night my mother and I were sitting in the living room talking about things, and the subject of euthanasia came up (dying soon, without suffering, when you are hopeless …).
And I said:
“Look, mom, please; If one day this happens, never let me live in this vegetative state, dependent on machines and liquids … If you see me in that situation, immediately turn off the devices that keep me … in this artificial life: I’D RATHER DIE !.
Then, without saying anything, my mother stood up, looked at me with admiration and immediately hung up:
Th TV,
The DVD,
The INTERNET CABLE,
The PC,
The MP3 / 4,
The PLAYSTATION,
The PSP,
The WIRELESS,
The FIXED PHONE and The MOBILE PHONE
The IPOD,
The BLACKBERRY
AND REMOVED ALL COCA-COLAS AND BEERS FROM THE REFRIGERATOR, and threw them in the trash !!!
FUCK!… I ALMOST DIED!!!
Feissebuque
I’m currently trying to make friends outside of Facebook… but using the same principles.
Every day I go out on the street and for a few meters I accompany people and I explain to them what I ate, how I feel, what I did yesterday, what I’m going to do later, what I’m going to eat tonight and more.
I give them pictures of my wife, my children, my dog, mine in the garden, in the pool, and photos of what we did over the weekend.
I also walk behind people, a short distance away, I hear their conversations and then I approach and tell them that I “like” what I heard, I ask them for we to be friends and I also do some
comment on what I heard. Later, I share everything when I talk to other people.It works…
I already have 3 people following me…
They are two policemen and a psychiatrist.

Lusitanian humor

The problem about the chicken crossing the street…
… according to the opinion of illustrated thinkers of the past and present!
Why did the chicken cross the street?
Primary teacher

“Because the chicken wanted to get across the street.”
Child

“Because yes.”
Plato

“Because it wanted to achieve Good.”
Aristotle

“Because it’s the nature of the chicken to cross the street.”
Descartes

“The chicken thought before crossing the street, therefore it is.”
Rousseau

“Chicken by nature is good; it is society that corrupts you and takes you across the street. ”
Freud

“Concern over the fact that the chicken has crossed the street is a symptom of sexual insecurity.”
Darwin

“Over time, chickens have been selected naturally, so that, today, their genetic evolution has made them capable of crossing the street.”
Einstein

“Whether the chicken crossed the street or whether the street moved towards the chicken, depends on the point of view … Everything is relative.”
Martin Luther King

“I had a dream. I saw a world in which all free-range chickens can cross the street without questioning their motives. The chicken dreamed. ”
George W. Bush

“We know that the chicken crossed the street in order to have its arsenal of weapons of mass destruction. So we had to eliminate the chicken. ”
Cavaco Silva

“Why did you cross the street, it’s not important. What the country needs to know is that, with me, the chicken will have a favorable situation. I will not put barriers for the chicken to cross the street. ”
José Sócrates

“My government was the one that built the most chicken runners. When I am re-elected, I will build chicken coops on either side of the street so that the chickens do not have to cross it. ”
Mario Soares

“I already told the chicken to give up crossing the street! I’m going to cross! I will not give up because I know that the Portuguese want me to cross the street again !!! ”
Manuel Alegre

“The chicken is free, it’s beautiful, something like that… with feathers! It crossed, crosses and will cross the street, because the wind shuts down disgrace, the wind says nothing to you! ”
Jerónimo de Sousa

“It is the fault of the dominant, imperialist and bourgeois elites who intend to dominate the chickens, usurp their rights and annihilate their ability to cross the street, in the conquest of a better and more just socialist world!”
Francisco Louçã

“Because it is necessary to say eye to eye that, just for the sake of racism, the chicken needs to cross the street to the other side. It is meanness to force the chicken across the street! ”
Valentim Loureiro

“I challenge someone to prove that the chicken crossed the street. It’s a lie … !!! It’s all a lie !!! ”
Paulo Bento

“The chicken crossed the street quietly… This is what we expected and this is what happened, very naturally. The chicken is still very young and these things pay dearly, with peace of mind !!! ”
Zézé Camarinha

“Because it was the hitch! It’s a real male, it saw a camone chicken across the street and it didn’t forgive. It believed her!!! ”
And the blonde Lili Caneças …

“Because it wanted to join the other mammals.”
“Save the rich”
Cool… Awesome!
LOL
Math is cool …
PROBLEM
A mother is 21 years older than her son. Six years from now the mother will have an age 5 times that of the child.
Question: Where is the father now? Yes, you did not read wrong … where is the Father?
Some calculations have to be done to get the answer!
Incredible as it may seem the answer is given by mathematics!
See the answer below… it’s very interesting:
Solution:
Looking Today:
The mother is now Y years old
The boy is now X years old
So with the mother 21 years older: Y = X + 21
6 years from now: (Y + 6) and (X + 6)
So with the mother 5 times older than her son: Y + 6 = 5 (X + 6)
Resolving:
Y + 6 = 5 X + 30
Y = 5X + 24
Then, replacing in the first equation = X + 21 we have:
5X + 24 = X + 21
Therefore:
-4X = 3
X = -¾
The boy is now -¾ years old, that is, – 9 months (minus nine months !!!).
The answer is logical:
If the boy is exactly nine months old, he will be born in nine months,
So:
Answer to the proposed problem:
- The father is now “eating” the mother, while you break your head !!!
Brilliant !!!!!!!!!!!
Riddle
You are driving a car and maintaining a constant speed.
On your left side there is a huge swan.
On the right side a large fire engine, which maintains a speed identical to yours.
In front of you a horse gallops, which is much taller than your car, and you cannot pass it.
Behind you comes a helicopter close to the ground.
Both the horse and the helicopter maintain a speed identical to yours.
What do you do to get out of this situation safely?
Think a little…
…
Think a bit longer…
…
The answer is further down….
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Answer:
You step out the carousel and you stop drinking, ’cause the alcohol is killing you… 😂
The F word!
LOL
The 5 Jews

Moses, when he said: “The Law is everything …”;
Jesus, when he said: “Love is everything …”;
Marx, when he said: “Capital is everything …”;
Freud, when he said: “Sex is everything …”.
Then EINSTEIN came and fucked it up when he said:
“Everything is relative …” 😀